emmett ray turns one!

 emmett ray, 

are you really one? 

it's hard for me to put into words what your little one year of life has meant to me. 

 the day you were born was one of the happiest times of my life. i knew right in that moment that you had brought something with you, something special... a spirit of peace. i remember holding you in my arms on that first night and not understanding how i could feel so much love for you and your brother. and each day...it grows even bigger. who knew our hearts were this big?

it has been such an amazing year for our little family. we have all loved watching you grow and learn. ...and teach us. 

you love your big brother. he spends hours playing with you and showing you toys. you love it. you two can laugh and giggle for hours together. and it may just be the sweetest sound there is. 

you love food! so you came to the right family :) 

you love balls, and stacking blocks.

you can crawl like crazy, you love your walker....but you're a little nervous to take those first steps. you'll get it soon, i'm sure! 

you sleep like a rock! another reason you fit right in here. :) 

our family just isn't a family without you! 

so we thought we'd celebrate you a bit....

(your theme being ... food! it was perfectly fitting.)

 we love you emmett ray! 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!! 

-love mom

yep, we golf.

 AND.....

we camp too!

Cause we're cool like that.

(and cause i'm raising a bunch of boys!!)

minus the overalls and bandana...

i always wanted to be a mother

from a very young age,

i would picture myself in the kitchen with overalls 

(one strap undone of course) 

and a cute red bandana in my hair as i tended to my children.

i pictured singing and dancing in our home at all times.

laughter the only medicine we dished out.

and a husband that was hot! 

(ok, maybe i was picturing jonathon taylor thomas...hehe)

and yet....

i don't wear overalls, 

or a bandana

there is singing and dancing, yet sometimes more screaming and crying.

our medicine cabinet is full of everything BUT laughter when there are scraps, bruises and colds that need tending.

and i didn't marry J.T.T

(I married someone HOTTER!!) 

motherhood is more than my dreams and visions could have ever imagined.

and it just keeps getting better.

i love my boys! 

Thanks for making me a mother bowen and emmett...you mean the world to me!! 

fun, for REAL!

 burgers were only fitting for our fun night out on the town!

and five guys...

well they're just awesome. 

dare i say, they beat in-n-out burger??

yep..i do! 

it was the perfect night for a game. 

little chilly.

but this prepared momma had blankets for everyone! 

that's right, sometimes i am on top of things.

 Emmett caught on pretty quick that this was a great place to practice his clapping!

and clap he did. 

for our team, 

for their team,

for everyone! 

 we'll chalk that up as just good sportsmanship!! 

(or cheerleading...hehe)

 growing up i used to go to sporting events with my dad a lot. 

my favorite part...

the treats, of course! 

and when bowen spotted the man with the cotton candy, 

he had the same idea! 

sports are fun, 

but they're even funner with treats! 

 there is a chance we even let the little man enjoy in the sugary goodness.....

good times had by all...

a fun night. 

for REAL!

yes, i am that determined.

Easter.

isn't it just the greatest Holiday?!
the baskets,
the candy,
the sunshine,
the new "sunday-best" clothes.
it's just too fun!
and the fact that it has a meaning far greater than all that, makes it even better!

therefore the natural thing to do:
Document!

unfortunately because i belong to a family of males...
i am the only one who's ever on board for some pictures.

don't believe me...
well, take a look:

{me: "bowen i just want one picture where you are both looking at me." bo: "ok, here."}

{me: "ok, now kiss him." bo: "mom, eww he's a boy!" me: "oh geez bowen, kiss your brother...now!"}

{james: "well, at least we know the 10 second timer isn't long enough"}

take 12: "say cheeese"

done.

{with the help of a little easter candy for bribery, and an agreement that the sunglasses could stay.}
and it was worth every minute.
i love these boys!!!

bo,

well bud, i think you have aged 10 years in about 3 months.
it's crazy, and yet, so fun to be on this journey with you. there's nothing i want more than for you to grow and learn every single day! (for the rest of your life.)
you went to the dentist today and you were an absolute champ. seriously, they were all so shocked that you just sat still and kept your mouth open wide.
i wasn't though.
that's just how you are.
but watching you sit back in that chair gave me a "mom moment." you just seemed all grown up.
you have a friend in the neighborhood now that comes over to ask if you can play on a regular basis. i love to see you interact with friends, you are always such a good example to them. and in turn, to me. you know what is right and you just stick with it.
i admire you bo.
you are taking quite the liking to video games. its something i may never understand about boys. but we are trying to embrace your passion. i have to admit, i sorta love playing Donkey Kong on the wii with you. we make a pretty good team. you are good at everything you try bo. i hope you will always have those qualities of dedication and passion.

you are the best big brother! emmett absolutely adores you, and looks up to you so much. i imagine it's a big responsibility to be an older sibling. something dad and i never experienced, but you seem to take the role on like a champ! again, teaching us all. i love all your simple reminders that keep our family on track..."we need to pray guys!", "maybe emmett needs some shoes on", "let's just relax with a good family movie tonight!"

you and dad are now playing football and dad is so proud to watch you throw a spiral at 4 years old. he lights up when the two of you toss the ball back and forth. (me too) now that the weather is nice, we just can't get enough of it. from sun up to sun down, you love being outside. and i don't blame ya, this world is absolutely beautiful.
i love you bowen.

love,
mom

ten months....already?

little e. well, time is certainly flying by. you are still my baby, though there are days you act so much older than that. you are learning so fast. you love exploring new places, new toys, and new foods. i love looking at the world through your eyes sometimes...taking on everything as a new exciting adventure. i need to be more like you.
we are currently in the weaning stage. i'm not sure how i feel about it, but you handle every new stage like a champ, and haven't seemed bothered at all. like i said, i'm learning from you. i will miss the quiet alone time we have shared together. this time around, it has been a very positive experience. see, there are benefits to being the second child...mom has a better handle on things! (sorry, bowen.)
it's hard to believe we are nearing your 1st birthday. wow. k, let's not talk about that...i might loose it.

happy ten months little e.

love,
mom.

stop that.

I went to lunch with some friends a while ago,
they talked about all the things they didn't like about their bodies.
it made my heart hurt.
bad.

but it's not just them.
i see it on facebook,
blogs,
in the store,
everywhere.
woman hoping to loose {unnecessary} weight.
and then some more.

even heard some mothers recently saying they were appalled with the "fat little girls" now days.
and i was APPALLED by that.

i heard someone say the thing that scared her the most about having children,
was the effect it would have on her body.

i cried that night.
she may miss out on the most miraculous experience of the human body.

can i just say you are all beautiful!
and there isn't a SIZE or Number in the world that can change that about YOU!

It's wonderful to imagine every cell in our bodies that work so effortlessly perfect EVERYDAY!
we were created this way!
created to be loved...

by ourselves.

when we do. when we love our bodies, guess what happens?...
they love us back! they perform how we hope they will. they heal themselves.
the more we love them, the more we want to give them only the very best, and the more they love back.


perhaps you know i interned at an eating disorder treatment center while studying at USU.
these girls were broken.
because somewhere along the line, they had had enough.

don't break down others.
or yourself.
with these harmful words and thoughts.

not worth it.

ever.


can we stop the FAT TALK?