"NO, NO, NO"

the other day i heard a four letter word come raging down the hall! i thought for sure the house was on fire. but no, james had just realized that doing anything bowen doesn't want to do, or anything not on his agenda, is now a little more frusrating than before. bowen has learned a little phrase and knows exactly what it means. he has been using this simple phrase to his advantage. not three minutes go by without it echoing throughout our home. the phrase: "NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO." well bowen, you're not the only one that feels this way. sometimes i feel like saying it to. (i just have to refrain since, technically i'm an adult)

i want to say "NO, NO, NO" to grocery shopping. it's crazy really. i don't know why anyone in their right mind wouldn't hate it. the whole process is rather bizarre.

make a list

go to the store

take food off the shelves

put the food in the cart

take the food out of the cart

put the food onto the belt

take the food off the belt

put the food into bags

take the bags off the hooks

put the bags into the cart

take the bags out of the cart

put the bags into the car

take the bags out of the car

take the food out of the bags

put the food into the cupboard/fridge

eat all the food in a matter of minutes and....

make a new list!

when i'm rich and famous (or just rich) i think i'll officially say "no" to grocery shopping and hire someone to do all the steps between "make the list" and "eat the food"!

i want to say "NO, NO, NO" to laundry.

no matter how many loads i do in one day there is always one waiting for tomorrow. it's an impossible task to get ahead of. if you think about it, the only logical way to complete all of your household laundry in one day would be that the entire family prance around the house naked while all possible clothing is washed. otherwise, the second you clean everyones clothes (and underwear) you have the clothes and the underwear being worn to wash. the hamper can never truly be empty.

i want to say "NO, NO, NO" to poopy diapers.

i realize the only alternative to this is to train the kid to sit on the pot. unfortunately for me, i wanna say "no" to that too! perhaps if my boy had normal one-year-old bowel movements i wouldn't be so annoyed. but 4-5 a day? is that really fair? i often wonder if the smell of mac and cheese on the flip side is to punish the mother how ran out of time to make something healthy. believe me, i feel punished!

i want to say "NO, NO, NO" to getting gas. (not that kind of gas...sicko!)

many of you, i'm sure, know of my hatred to putting gas in the car. i have to admit that if james wants to make my day (and his...wink, wink) putting gas in my car always does the trick! perhaps if i wasn't so paranoid about causing static and being blown up, by getting back in my warm car while it fills up, i wouldn't hate it so bad. and i only seem to run out of gas during blizzards or ice storms. who wants to stand outside in that?

i wanna say "NO, NO, NO" to calories.

do you think heaven really is a place where calories don't count? where i can have a 'ho ho' for breakfast and still have a beach body by afternoon? if you don't, don't tell me. there are times when depriving myself of luxurious cupcakes can only be achieved if i tell myself i can have them when i die! and since we're on the subject. why are there people in the world who seem to eat what they want (what I want) and still flaunt their size 2 pants? if i didn't read the calorie count AFTER eating the yummy pasta, my nights would perhaps be less depressing! no more calories!

well, i suppose the next lesson for our FHE should be that we need the bitter to know the sweet. that or teaching bowen to say, "YES, YES, YES!"